Friday, February 10, 2012

Missed Connections and Other Confessions

These are my confessions...

Two nights ago I did something I haven't done since I was in graduate school. I read craigslist missed connections. Back then when I was bored in the library I would read them and make up back stories for the posts. I secretly fantasized one would be about me.Who are the people who post and why? Personally I feel like the odds are low that the person you are posting about/for: a) actually reads missed connections b) will read it the day you post c) know it is for them and d) respond to it. I was at a BBQ once, and brought the subject up and a guy there said he had posted one. I was shocked because I had imagined it was something mostly white people did, and here this seemingly "normal" black guy posted AND admitted to it. I was eager to find out the back story. So, he said he was on the train, and the most beautiful woman he ever saw boarded. They exchanged glances, but he didn't go and to talk to her. She got off the train, but the whole day he couldn't get her off his mind. So that night he posted. It was his first time. She didn't respond, and he said he didn't see himself ever posting again. Crazy to think about the effect you can have on a person.... I think I like missed connections because it is all the emotions that feelings like pride or nerves or circumstances keeps people from expressing. If you never read them before here is a sample of some posts:

Men to Women:

Title: I love you
Message: More than you'll ever know. I will always be here when you need me, no matter what. What I said was true. 

Title:Seriously, S...
Message: I do not know if it is in the cards for us... if I will ever tie you down and spank you. Somebody needs to, though. Seriously.
So there. Are you happy now? Go ahead and check one off of the bucket list. 
Now get back to work. 
image 0image 1

Title: LA Fitness
Message: Ok so you go to the LA Fitness off of Eldorado, you come to the morning spin classes a lot, you were there this morning. You're blonde, about 5'6 or 5'7 probably. You are incredibly gorgeous, just needed to say that! I think you're married so I doubt you would even look here but thats ok. I said it now I feel better! Thanks for making me work harder! 

Women to Men:

Title: I still miss you...
Message :I know the chances that you will read this and know it is for you are slim to none. Knowing you the way I do, I am doubtful that you even read this type of thing at all, but then, most people would never imagine me reading, much less posting here. The truth is, I blew it from the beginning with you. I know that now, and most of me knew it then. Would things have turned out differently if I had been more open and honest? I do not know because we both enjoyed the game to some extend. All I know is I still miss you, I still think of you, and my skin still burns when I remember the way you kissed me that last time we were together. Did you know that was it for us? I am not sure because I honestly did not realize it was our last night together. I was too wrapped up in how hungry you were for me and how drunk I was for you. If you read this by some chance and you still miss me and think of me, email at the address where you wished me a Happy New Year last month. 

Message: All your noble-sounding bullshit, when the truth is you're afraid. Or, you simply used and dumped me. I'm not sure if I should be pissed at myself for falling for all your pretty words or at you for being a heartless jerk. And to think I believed in you. 

Title:The Bar at Sfuzzis
Message: We were both ordering drinks at Sfuzzi at the bar. We kept looking at eachother, but never spoke. I was with my friend, so maybe you thought he was my date. Nope.

Over the years I have tried to journal, but I always quit. You know how when you go to a museum and there are pages of Malcolm X or Virginia Woolf's diary? I can't help it, but I write my diary like it is displayed in a museum case.  Even when I was a little girl I would write in this really dramatic voice playing it up for my imagined reader, and eventually I would get disgusted with myself and so I'd quit. 

I tell all my secrets to strangers. People all over the world have collected bits and pieces of everything there is to know about me. My favorite places to share are airplanes and park benches. 

In elementary school I would pretend like I couldn't hear on those beeping  hearing tests.

Even though I love being a mother sometimes I fantasize about running away from the responsibly. 

I talk a lot and am outgoing, because that is my way of masking my shyness. 

1 comment:

  1. "I tell all my secrets to strangers." - a fabulous line

    And faking deafness on hearing tests cracked me up.

    So what if you write for a museum display case? You still write good! ;p